*Disclaimer: This is one of my very few poetries I have still left (somehow) from when I was about 14-15 years old. All the others were either erased when my first laptop broke or destroyed when my backup disk crashed… Btw, this poem is not related to me or my life, just a poem I came up with a long time ago out of the blue. It is very random and I have no idea anymore what I was thinking at the time, so please forgive me if it sounds bonkers lol… Just thought to share one of my old poems :)*
So many years have come to pass,
I feel like my heart’s to burst.
Can’t remember the time I laughed last,
Seems like my soul’s been cursed.
As I remember all the moments that passed,
They prick me ever harder from deep within.
And if I try to resist the pain as they blast,
I grow weaker with these weighing fruits of my sin...
Days go by,
And time never waits,
But all that I see
Is my deceived faith.
Chaos and fallacy try to fill me,
Consciences all complain and bill me.
I try to hear my own sound,
But all I hear is the emptiness within me.
My dreams all shattered
Wish I could turn back time.
Like million pieces of broken mirror,
My life seems to dissolve like quicklime…
Drenched in the tears of heartache,
Walking down the memory lane,
I try and shut my eyes
And ease down this burning pain.
Have no one to rejoice with,
Nor anyone to mourn.
I’m stuck in a crowded world,
But still all alone.
Never found a place to call my own
Never found someone to count on.
I’m like a lover lovelorn,
My soul all bruised and torn.
Take my place on where I stand
Dare to break my castle of sand.
But be sure that to save yourself,
You would still have your hands.
I cannot revive the non-challance
It has been lost in a gloomy flare.
Hard to hide in crowd from it all
When I'm stained with every stare.
It is hard to believe when the mind drops,
With vain passion’s liquescence blurring the vision.
I only wish for the sun to rise
So that, to smile I have a reason.
Holding pictures of fake monotony,
One can hardly escape the silence.
Like a blind confused in a world of colours,
For the cause of living seems like we need a license.
Days from now, who cares what had happened,
As the time flies, so will it dampen.
I am not a poet of fall or a sinner of the present,
I’m just a victim of joy, but the pain will never lessen.
Wish there was something more to write on
Than the symphony of this melancholy,
Amplified voices of regrets surrounding,
I would fade away with this permanent stain of folly.
I’m not an angel,
Nor a demon too.
Whatever you take me as,
I would put myself through.
I could be something more
Or someone less,
With no crust or core,
My world’s a complete mess.
There’s no one who can save me from this misery,
All they can do is read my broken history,
So I’d have my line drawn.
And wait until it is all over for me.
Till then my life will keep on going,
And I will live it till I’m done.
Cause those who are called brave,
Brace ‘em as they come!